The babies love the Backyardigans. They occasionally will struggle with a bout of Dora-love (which makes me want to smash the tv with Dora’s annoyingly perky face and freakishly large eyes into a million pieces just so I never have to hear any of the songs again), and will move on to Blue’s Clues marathons. These are the only shows we watch in our house. Part of it is because they are only on at certain times of the day and then I can pretend that they can’t watch Blue right now because she’s not on tv yet, and no the Backyardigans aren’t on either, and Dora’s not feeling well today so she won’t be performing at all until Friday………
I try to limit the amount of tv the kids watch, more because I’m one of those moms who reads too much and believes everything horrible for about 2/3 of a second before my common sense reasserts itself. So when the American Academy of Pediatrics tells me that “children under the age of 2 should watch 0 hours of television per day, and children under the age of 5 should be limited to no more than 1 hour per day”, I listen. Kind of.
I figure that hour first thing in the morning when they watch the same episode of Blue twice doesn’t really count because for them Blue’s Clues is the equivalent of coffee for Chris and I. Without significant amounts of the SAME show every morning, the kids will have absolutely no personality. So I’m really doing them a favor, and teaching them excellent coping skills. Not to mention that it gives me at least 23 minutes to drink several cups of coffee while staring at Blue trying to figure out just how many colors of blue she actually is. Blue is a girl, for those who haven’t figured it out.
And the other four hours a day of tv that they watch improves their health in significant ways. They stay out of my hair, so they get to live.
(Just kidding. My kids don’t really watch that much tv. It’s really only about 3 1/2 hours.)
Has anyone without children ever watched Dora? I have so many unanswered questions:
1. Why does Boots (her best friend who is a monkey) wear nothing but a pair of boots? (the answer to this question would seem obvious but I just don’t get it)
2. It is just me, or does Dora shout every word at the top of her lungs? Why does she do this?
3. What’s with the mariachi band, which consists of three teeny bugs playing different instruments? Why do they show up and play the same 10 notes every time something significant happens? Are they actually part of the show, or are they just extras? Did they show up at the studio one day and get cast because they had the right look?
4. How does the grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge get to be on every episode? I don’t’ get it: what’s his point? All he does it make up riddles for Dora to solve.
5. WHY ARE DORA’S EYES SO FREAKY? WHY DOES SHE ONLY BLINK 5 TIMES PER EPISODE? WHY ARE THEY SO STINKIN’ LARGE? WHY IS HER HEAD DISPROPORTIONATELY LARGER THAN THAT OF EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE SHOW, INCLUDING HER PARENTS AND THE STUPID TROLL.
Honestly, if my character had a head larger than a yellow troll I’d totally sue.
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